Dear Staff,
Thank you so much for all of your hard work and the sacrifices you’ve made this term. Sadly, we say goodbye to another group of teachers. I am not allowed to discuss with you why they are leaving as they have signed whistle blowing contracts. However, I wish them well.
With so much attention on social media about ‘toxic schools’ I thought I might address this with you all to ease your mind. Some of you may not have worked in a toxic school before and want to know more. Some of you may have already experienced it and just want some more information. Some of you may feel our school is toxic. You’re entitled to your opinion I suppose.
Stage 1: Confidence
It’s important to remember that teachers who have experienced working in toxic schools were once very confident. They had successful teaching placements and probably worked in other schools where they were valued. This is why they find it hard to adjust when faced with the issues toxic schools present. Nearly all teachers who struggle adapting in toxic schools were once very confident in the classroom. Remember that.
Stage 2: Shock
This is arguably the hardest part of the process. Suddenly, you are given lists of non-negotiables and subjected to increased lesson observations (disguised as learning walks). Book scrutiny and display board checks are carried out all the time and pupil progress interrogations become more frequent.
Teachers’ pay is often frozen and UPS staff start to feel the heat because the school can’t afford to keep them. Support plans are dished out frequently and the toxicity begins to creep in. Teachers begin to moan to family and friends and the spiral of negativity accelerates. Good teachers are told they are not good anymore. Nothing is good enough.
Stage 3: Defiance
Some teachers will resist the changes for a while. They will speak up in staff meetings and start up secret social media chat rooms in order to let off steam. One brave teacher will speak up a little too much and experience the wrath of the management team.
Once staff realise the consequences for wanting to debate issues affecting well-being and workload are severe, they think twice. Defiance doesn’t last long. Teachers panic and mentally hide, and then move onto Stage 4.
Stage 4: Tolerance
This is where the real damage is done I’m afraid. The workload and accountability pressures by this point are in full swing and teachers know they can’t fight back. Most are too worried to contact their unions and those who do, don’t have the confidence the union will help them, so they give up. Staff now accept the school has changed and make a conscious decision (for the own sanity, professionalism and their personal relationships outside of school) to knuckle down and make the best of a crap situation.
The problem with this, is that it eats away at your job satisfaction. Your confidence begins to wane, and you start resenting your job. You might even start to hate your job. It’s clear that some staff members are being targeted. Who will be next? But you keep going because you that’s what you are good at. You haven’t failed at anything before. Teachers naturally want to do well. It’s part of their work ethic.
Stage 5: Exhaustion
Sadly, after months of tolerating the new regime and trying to tick all the boxes that have been thrust at staff, teachers begin to feel exhausted. Not just ‘teacher tired’. I mean, absolutely mentally and physically exhausted. The problem is, they’ve given up seeing friends, they’ve stopped going to the gym, they’re drinking more, they’re staying up late trying to keep up with the demands of the job, and relationships at home start to wobble.
They can’t think straight anymore. They have lost their mojo and find it hard to know what the best course of action is to take. The only thing they do know, is they must keep up at school otherwise they will be given another support plan and they don’t need that. Once everything starts to affect their sleep, Stage 6 kicks in.
Stage 6: Stress
Your partner starts to worry about you. Your friends would say something, but you haven’t seen them for months. After weeks of not sleeping properly, teachers find themselves on the brink of a breakdown – only they don’t know what this feels like, so they don’t recognise it for what it is. They will eventually, but by then, it’s too late.
If nothing changes at school soon, teachers slowly become more and more stressed, to a point where they might suddenly break down without warning. They will feel confused and scared. This has never happened to them before. They will start to cry and won’t understand why they can’t get to work.
They will still tell people they are fine because they don’t really know what to say. Some teachers will seek advice immediately form the doctor and will inevitably burst into tears in front of them. The doctor will sign them off for two weeks.
In some cases, this is enough for a teacher to realise that they need to leave their school and do so the following term. Others however, will struggle. The damage has been done and it’s hard to come back from that. They may have longer periods off with depression and anxiety. They may never come back to teaching or go on supply for a while. Others stay for a few more years. They just about cope but they are extremely miserable.
Stage 7: Guilt
Stage 6 is tough. Really tough. There are so many decisions teachers must make. Not just for themselves but for their family too. One of the immediate emotions experienced by teachers, after going through this whole process, is guilt and sadness. You feel bad because you have (wrongly) labelled yourself as a failure. You can’t cope with the job you always wanted to do. You’ve let the pupils down. You’ve let your colleagues down. Your finances are taking a hit.
Teachers start to feel bad about everything. They forget it wasn’t their fault. It’s really not – remember Stage 1? Your emotions overpower you. Teachers find it hard to think about anything else now. It has consumed them. It’s emotionally draining. You can’t see a positive future. Not yet anyway.
Stage 8: Relief
Stage 8 is a strange one. How could you possibly feel relieved after everything you’ve been through? But it’s true. As horrid an experience as it was, teachers soon begin to realise how toxic the school was. They start to feel relieved they don’t work there anymore. They start to worry for staff still there and keep in touch with them all the time. They start to advise other teachers to get out before they are forced out. You start to get a little perspective on the whole matter.
You begin to realise that you were bullied, or forced out, or your anxiety was a serious issue that you had to come to terms with (and that’s ok). You start to feel better. Honestly, you do. You feel relieved. But…
Stage 9: Anger
This is really tough because teachers find it hard to let this one go – for very good reasons. You feel relieved you’ve left. You feel awakened by your new sense of well-being and can see a better future ahead. A future less stressed and one of hope. But you start to feel angry. Teachers will feel very bitter about the process they experienced. They may seem fine and will say how pleased they are to ‘get out’. But they will be pissed off.
What happened to them was a direct result of someone’s misguided non-negotiables policy, added with a hunger and drive to raise standards in a heavy handed and insensitive manner. They will feel cheated out of a career that they cared so much about. Only now do they wish they had fought back at the time.
They play out the scenarios in their head and plan the things they should have said. What’s worse, is they probably could have kicked SLT’s arse, but you don’t know that at the time.
When you feel vulnerable, you do what you can to survive. Teachers would love to go back in time and react very differently, but the moment has passed. Over time they will feel less angry about it. Actually, no they won’t. That’s rubbish. It stays with them for a long, long time.
Stage 10: Prioritising
Despite all this, teachers will come out of it with a new set of values. They will demand they see their friends more often, they will give their partner more attention and will spend more time with their children. They soon realise that money isn’t everything and will say things like ‘My money is bad but I’m happier.’ They will inspire other teachers to rethink their lifestyles. If you reach Stage 10, you will be more at one with yourself and understand what’s important to you. Life is too short.
Finally:
I hope you found this information useful. I look forward to seeing you all soon. We will be focusing on accelerated progress, marking codes, deep marks and 3D working walls.
Fake Headteacher
Wow. You have just written my life a few years ago. Astonishingly accurate. I’m commenting because of (8) Relief and (9) Anger: I don’t want anyone else who started out a confident, respected, passionate teacher to feel the utter failure, despair and worthlessness I ended up feeling. There IS a different, better school out there for you. You are NOT a failure. Keep that passion and hold your head high.
LikeLike
Well said! 👍
LikeLike
Wow I’m at stage 7 right now, its been a tough year and not one I wish to repeat. 🥺
LikeLike
Poor you. Take care of yourself.
LikeLike
This is the experience I have been living for the last 12 months. Hideous. Being told that I am failing at my job, that I have no behaviour management strategies and poor relationships with students because I insist on them meeting expectations. The evidence for this was my number of behaviour logs on Simms . Had I brushed it all under the carpet I could have survived.Now working in a great school with really supportive comments. It took a lot for my friends, family and a brilliant union rep to even walk back into a classroom . Yes I am UPS 3 or was and was constantly being told how expensive I am …..
LikeLike
Really pleased you’ve found a better school!! 👍
LikeLike
This was me in 2017-2018, I put up with this for 1 year but I still carry so much of it still. I found a new school , it was hard I trusted no one. It took until now for me to raise my head and begin to enjoy teaching. I am not a young teacher I had 10 years experience before. I still worry about those I left behind. I thought I was loosing my mind. Thank you for illustrating this.
LikeLike
You’re welcome. 👍
LikeLike
Another comment from someone who has gone through exactly this. This was me in 2017-18. I started a new school as a RQT and within 5 weeks a close relative passed away suddenly. The day after, I was put on a support plan and observed hourly x3 a week. Feedback was given via email every Sunday afternoon saying ‘inadequate’. I left at Christmas but that term still sticks with me and my confidence was ruined. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I’m only just getting over it 2 years later due to eventually finding the right school. I still keep in touch with staff there and they’ve had another 14 staff leave since.
LikeLike
Thanks for the comment. Good to share these experiences. Feels tough eh. Glad you found the right school. They are out there!
LikeLike
Amazingly accurate piece. Every teacher across the land needs to read this. The ‘culture of fear’ is now at such epidemic proportions that surely these adverse practises must be given as much attention as possible so as to change the whole ethos in these establishments. Unity is Strength. Be strong enough to stand up and stand together.
LikeLike
Thank you. I think you’re correct!
LikeLike
Took me 4 weeks to crack… and now going through the relief of finding a job without the word teaching in the title… the money is not good.. min wage+ I get feedback of the posotive type on observed daily by my colleagues and managers I get feedback I smile I learn I love it I just miss some things… like the first word read the last goodbyes and the thank you from them all however guarded… the art the knowledge but at the moment I cant go back…
LikeLike
Thanks for message. Good luck for the future. 👍
LikeLike
Absolutely spot on. The only thing I’d add is in stage 6 – where having been signed off for three weeks with stress you return to school and the ‘return to work meeting’ consists of telling you how incredibly inconvenient it’s been being off school and that it’s put extra pressure on your year group colleagues. True story. This is my experience in a school. Luckily I left before the catatonic breakdown that I could feel was round the corner. My husband wasn’t so lucky. He’s now left a profession he loved because of the toxic environment at his school. Heartbreaking experiences for both of us.
I’m glad to say however that I’ve now changed to a different school and I’ve got my mojo back. I feel valued, trusted and respected and I’m always happy to be going to work in the mornings. If only every school was like that.
LikeLike
Thanks for sharing. Takes a while eh. Good luck to both of you.
LikeLike
This could be my story…. but I have been at the angry stage for a very long time. I finally reached the stage this Autumn where I developed neurological problems, suffered nightmares and sleep problems, couldn’t string a sentence together and couldn’t follow a train of thought. I have just left and don’t feel like I ever want to go back to the teaching profession again -a profession I once loved and was very proud to be part of. I left after 17 years with barely a farewell (a farewell card was passed to me as I keft the building) which only added to the feeling of worthlessness which had developed insidiously over several years. I never want to experience it again. I leave to go self employed. I may end up very poorly off but no amount of money is worth the way I felt.
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing! It’s heart breaking reading people’s messages but one I can relate to. Take care of yourself and good luck for the future.
LikeLike
I’m not a teacher but have many friends who are teachers (no, I don’t see them often) and one of them shared this on Facebook. I see the signs of them going through this, and strongly suspect that my daughter’s school is one of those toxic schools. Is there anything that we, as parents, can do to start to change this, both for the sake of the students and the staff?
LikeLike
Thank you sharing. Sad isn’t it.
LikeLike
Thanks for this. I am at stage 7 and have left my job. I’m struggling to find any positives to hold on to and feel like there is no type of job that I am capable of nor do I think I would get a supportive reference from my previous boss.
I am on a waiting list for counselling.
I need some pointers to get away from these destructive thoughts. Any ideas?
LikeLike
Time helps. Friends have gone on to do a mixture of jobs, not as well paid but much happier. It’s hard for a while but you will make it work. Good luck. Take care.
LikeLike
I escaped from a toxic FE college four years ago, with almost exactly the same stages. You do not realise at the time that you are spiralling downwards. Eventually I managed to get another non-teaching job and handed in my notice. Toxic manager suggested that I stayed until the end of the term “think of the students”. I replied that I was more concerned about my own children and family and them being disadvantaged. Best wishes and good luck to all.
LikeLike
Sadly I am living this right now. I was the brave teacher in stage 3 which landed me on an ‘improving practice plan’. I have just finished stage 4 by working ridiculous hours completing said plan (over 70 in the last week alone) and am currently crawling to half term in stage 5/6 wondering whether it’s worth it any more. I am utterly heartbroken about how toxic my school has become since we joined an academy which is supposed to promote Christian values. I wish staff work/life balance and wellbeing mattered. I wish I mattered.
LikeLike
This happened to me 10 years ago. Even though I eventually found a great school to work in I’m still not 100 per cent over what happened. The anger and the knowledge that I almost lost my career is still there. Even worse is knowing the headteacher is stoll around and doing the same to others. He must have ruined dozens of lives by now.
LikeLike
I was at the top in a less than good school in an authority that was ineffective. This happened to me. Unreasonable LA staff looking to pass blame fed governors to do as they were told.
I’m now in a different sector and all that talent (I did a good job), experience and training they’d invested in me just walked away via a breakdown (breakthrough, as my therapist called it).
It ended my career at too young an age and cost an incredible amount in lost earnings, pension and sense of role in the world. The school will probably have closed by now.
Now just see the game for the political mess that it was. and am happy to have reached the final level.
LikeLike
I remember crying when I first read this. I’d just left a job after what i now see as whistleblowing , highlighting concerns around SEND paperwork, procedure and physical interventions with students. The answer was to complete the paperwork within 3 weeks, I needed support with behaviour management, my definition of restraint/physical intervention was very broad, and follow the schools how to teach book. My anxiety kicked in, I lost confidence, I put in long hours to no avail. I felt undermined at every turn. TAs were asked “How are they doing…?” The daily observations and micro management (micro aggressions) began. Colleagues who played the game talked in hushed tones about their own escape plans. By week 2 another member of staff had vanished. Less experienced staff undertook environment surveys, learning walks etc. Ticking off non negotiables and emailing feedback in group emails, with each non ticked or observed item detailed for myself and colleagues to read. An NQT, was assigned to advise me on the marking scheme, with written feedback. Was the backing paper the correct colour?, the list was never ending…and from every direction.
By half term I had had enough, the NAHT were 👏 amazing, I left in tears and never returned to teaching. My friends, past colleagues still can’t understand why I haven’t gone back. Why didn’t I start again, try somwhere else, go back into school leadership, advisory roles.etc.
After 20+ yrs I didn’t have any confidence left… I was broken.
I no longer teach, I work in a customer facing roll where my colleagues say I’m very confident… and when I leave work it stays at work, I no longer take extra home, I still stay beyond time but that’s my choice and because I’m enjoying what I’m doing. I miss the students and some of my x colleagues are still friends and after 3 years I now feel I could return to a school but no longer wish to.
If your I a toxic school , leave, rebuild and plan. Don’t do it alone, call support services and your union, you are not a failure, you are possibly they best teacher they never had.
LikeLike